Today is my birthday. On this precious time of the year, I have turned 24 years old *yay*. Never in my life I feel less-excited about my own birthday. A month before blow-up-candles kind of day, I have started to count bit by bit until the day finally came. With each passing days, those excitements turned into anxiousness... and it happened every single year.
Being a year older man means that I have to face a new adventure. Especially because this is the first year after my university life (I graduated last November). It’s certainly scary, since dozens of old and new responsibilities are waiting in front of me. They seem ready to pinch... or even smite me. I feel that I have so many burdens. I am scared of thousand things. The uncertainty of future fazes me out.
There are several things that steal my concern for these past times. To reach number 24 is a truly blessing for me, but the truth is I never... really loving myself that much. I have a long-list of insecurities: physically, mentally, intellectually, you name it. It’s not that I’m being ungrateful. In fact, one of daily prayers that I never forget to express is that I really want to be more grateful about everything.
The thing is, I am terrified about what I have to become, how can I achieve my dreams, how can I handle all of the pressures. Those who know me must realizes that I am such an ambitious person. I set — sometimes unrealistic — goals. I once told my friend that if only I would lower my expectation over many things, I wouldn’t be disappointed so many times.
Nevertheless, I need to be more optimistic and welcoming all of the opportunities instead of blabbing around about how this upredictable adventure that I have. I shouldn’t be worry because the sun will keep rising and setting no matter what. To face the real world means that I will be able do the thing that I really want to do. I have arrived to the condition where I need to reach my goals. It feels like I begin anew phase of life.
Thus, I need to overcome my anxietiee about getting older. I found this man on Quora who explained that there’s nothing to be worried about turning 24. “Make a brick from each day, and stack them up, one on top of another. When you’re done, you’ll have a wall, or a house, or a pile of bricks. That’s all the completion we get in this life,” he said. I hope that a year (or probably years) from now, one by one desires that I have soon will be ticked off my list.
So me,
Happy birthday. Please hang in there.
Being a year older man means that I have to face a new adventure. Especially because this is the first year after my university life (I graduated last November). It’s certainly scary, since dozens of old and new responsibilities are waiting in front of me. They seem ready to pinch... or even smite me. I feel that I have so many burdens. I am scared of thousand things. The uncertainty of future fazes me out.
There are several things that steal my concern for these past times. To reach number 24 is a truly blessing for me, but the truth is I never... really loving myself that much. I have a long-list of insecurities: physically, mentally, intellectually, you name it. It’s not that I’m being ungrateful. In fact, one of daily prayers that I never forget to express is that I really want to be more grateful about everything.
The thing is, I am terrified about what I have to become, how can I achieve my dreams, how can I handle all of the pressures. Those who know me must realizes that I am such an ambitious person. I set — sometimes unrealistic — goals. I once told my friend that if only I would lower my expectation over many things, I wouldn’t be disappointed so many times.
Nevertheless, I need to be more optimistic and welcoming all of the opportunities instead of blabbing around about how this upredictable adventure that I have. I shouldn’t be worry because the sun will keep rising and setting no matter what. To face the real world means that I will be able do the thing that I really want to do. I have arrived to the condition where I need to reach my goals. It feels like I begin anew phase of life.
Thus, I need to overcome my anxietiee about getting older. I found this man on Quora who explained that there’s nothing to be worried about turning 24. “Make a brick from each day, and stack them up, one on top of another. When you’re done, you’ll have a wall, or a house, or a pile of bricks. That’s all the completion we get in this life,” he said. I hope that a year (or probably years) from now, one by one desires that I have soon will be ticked off my list.
So me,
Happy birthday. Please hang in there.
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